Fertility Coaching

Trying to get pregnant can be confusing and overwhelming. Which medical treatments and alternative therapies are right for you? How can you best deal with insensitive friends and family members who don't understand what you're going through? How can you manage the stress, depression, and anxiety you may feel? A trained fertility coach can help with any or all of the above.

A fertility coach isn’t a health care provider, so they won't order medical tests or perform procedures like IUI or IVF. Instead, this trained expert—who might also be called a fertility counselor or fertility therapist—will attempt to guide you, educate you, and support you while prioritizing your emotional wellbeing as you strive to get pregnant.

There are different types of fertility coaches, so it's wise to have some understanding of the support you're seeking when interviewing possible candidates. Some fertility coaches focus on alternatives and complementary techniques that are designed to increase your likelihood of conceiving either naturally or with the help of assisted reproductive technology.

Some fertility coaches perform massage designed to improve uterine blood flow as part of their services; others train clients in specific breathing techniques, yoga sequences, or mindfulness strategies designed to help combat stress: At least one study has shown that practicing mindfulness meditation may increase the likelihood of getting pregnant via IVF.

An integrative fertility coach will likely also teach you about how to implement certain diet, exercise, and other lifestyle changes designed to increase the odds of getting pregnant. Lifestyle changes may be especially beneficial to women with PCOS.

Whether you're working with a certified coach or a licensed psychologist, you should expect that some type of "talk therapy" will be part of the process. Robyn provider Lindsay Liben, LCSW, who specializes in infertility psychotherapy, provides emotional support by focusing her work on helping clients "process the wide range of emotions you are experiencing, which helps you to understand, grieve, and cope with your feelings."

She notes that it's common for people who are having trouble conceiving or going through fertility challenges to experience a roller coaster of emotions such as sadness, rage, loss, and/or depression. "[The struggle to get pregnant] also interferes with your interpersonal relationships, especially with your partner," she says. "You may feel like isolating or withdrawing instead of attending parties where you'll be judged. Or, maybe even asked: 'When are you going to give us a grandson?' There are so many 'new normals' that even the adjustment to all this change can feel like a traumatic experience."

Even if you don't develop serious depression or anxiety (though many people do), you may get overwhelmed by stress or caught off-guard by feelings you don't expect. Many people who are struggling to conceive or are undergoing fertility treatment start to feel like babies are everywhere and come easily to other people. Dragging yourself to another baby shower or forcing yourself to coo over your friend's newborn can feel tortuous to someone struggling with infertility, which is why Robyn provider Tasha Blasi, an integrative fertility coach, employs a series of specific techniques designed to help clients deal with "pregnancy envy" and "baby envy."

"Like any of us that have had a prolonged fertility journey, 'faking it' becomes part of the day-to-day," says Blasi. "We do the obligatory 'awwwwws' at baby showers and wait until we are in the car to start crying. We know how to fake a nice expression when one of our friends tells us that she accidentally got pregnant (again). And we bite our tongues and hold our middle fingers down when someone offers us the brilliant advice to 'just relax' to finally achieve pregnancy. But faking it, and holding it in, doesn’t feel good. It can be quite suffocating and lead to anxiety during a time when your physical and mental health should be your top priority."

Many fertility coaches also specialize in helping clients process pregnancy loss such as miscarriage or stillbirth. "It is necessary to grieve a miscarriage because it is a healthy response to death. Mourning is how our conscious mind works through the pain," says Liben.

Some people seek out fertility coaches on their own, while others attend with a partner. Going with your partner may be especially beneficial if the process of trying to get pregnant has led to marital or sexual problems. Sometimes men even go to fertility counseling or coaching sessions by themselves to help process their own feelings and emotional strife.

Fertility coaches and counselors can also help you make difficult decisions, such as whether you should use an egg donor or gestational carrier (surrogate), explore adoption, or decide to cease your current efforts to have a baby.

Since there are so many different reasons to hire a fertility coach—and many types of approaches that a coach might employ—asking a lot of questions during your initial consultation is key to finding the right fit. Start your search for a fertility coach here today.